G – Gather your thoughts, attention

R – Recall your intention

A – Attune to yourself and others

C – Consider what will serve

E – Engage and end

Dr. Darcy Harris offers a framework for compassionate grief response that can be remembered easily with the acronym GRACE

Gathering Attention

• Take a breath and focus on being in this current moment to become grounded and to be open to consciously looking at the person(s) and the situation, Be aware of any distractions and consciously choose to set them aside for this time.

Recall Your Intention

• Recall – remember what is MOST important to you—what you feel and believe matters the most.
• Affirm your purpose and deepest motivation towards yourself and others.
• Your motivation keeps you on track, morally grounded, and connects to your highest values.

Attune to yourself and others in the situation

• As the encounter unfolds, consider what the other person(s) might be experiencing in this moment…
• What are you sensing, seeing, learning?
• Keeping in mind your intention, what is the one thing you want to convey in this encounter?

Consider What Will Serve…

• As the encounter unfolds, notice what others might be offering in this moment. What are you sensing, seeing, learning?
• Ask yourself, “What will really serve here?” (not about doing or fixing)
• Draw on your expertise, knowledge, and experience while being open to seeing things in a fresh way.
• Be careful not to jump to conclusions; allow yourself to be informed by your intuition, prior experiences, and ethical concerns—but not rigidly so.

Engage and End

• What hopefully emerges is a compassionate response that is true to your intention and is also and practical.
• If there are conflicts, these must be addressed from a place of stability and discernment, always keeping in mind what is most important to you—what values you desire to guide your choices and responses.
• Important: Leave it when you’re done. Refuse to ruminate and dwell on the situation when you finish with it.