We are not the same in how we meet and respond to our grief.

Researchers Martin and Doka suggested that we look beyond gender to understand different patterns or styles of grief.  They suggested that gender, culture, and initial temperament all interact to produce a dominant pattern of grief. Based upon the underlying concept of emotion regulation, Martin and Doka proposed three basic patterns of grief: intuitive, instrumental, and dissonant.  

Intuitive relates to emotional and spiritual expressions as dominant;  

Instrumental relates to the physical and mental

and Dissonant refers to being limited to a type of grief expression not naturally suited to the individual….(ie: Big Boys don’t cry…)