Instrumental grievers experience and express their grief in the Physical realm – going for a run, work out at the gym OR they may be Mental processors – needing to make sense of things, read books, search the internet. Instrumental grievers are often the ones who create foundations or climb mountains in memory of a child. MADD Canada (Mothers Against Drunk Drivers) is an example – Sarah “Sally” Gribble, after her son’s (Fred) tragic death at the hands of a serial impaired driver in 1981, started the first Canadian chapter of MADD.

Intuitive grievers experience and express their grief in the Emotional realm and turn to sources of meaning-making and strength, looking for Spiritual guidance/solace.

Traditional grief interventions have tended to appeal more to Intuitive Grievers – peer support groups, one-on-one counseling, and talking with a priest, rabbi, or imam.

Thankfully, there has been an increasing understanding of how to recognize the different ways that people confront and process their grief – and so interventions that would appeal to more Instrumental grievers like mindfulness, walking groups, and expressive art therapy have become more available.

Participant Workbook Exercise (Page 4):

Where do you think you fall on the PEMS quadrant? 

Intuitive or Instrumental?

Physical, Emotional, Mental, Spiritual