• Be authentic
• Acknowledge their loss and the depth of their pain
• Listen and show interest in their story
• Get comfortable with silence
• Apologize if you say something that upsets them
• Check in on anniversaries/birthdays/holidays
• Suggest resources to deal with practical matters
• Let them know about other community services and resources

Be Authentic: Let them know you are genuinely concerned and care for them

Acknowledge: their loss and the depth of their pain

Listen and show interest in their story. 

Get comfortable with silence.

Apologize: if you say something insensitive or upsetting. Sometimes we don’t know what to say and may rely on cliches because of our own discomfort. It’s okay to make a mistake, just acknowledge it.

If its role appropriate: 

Try to reach out/check in on anniversaries, birthdays and holidays

Be available or suggest resources to help with practical matters; referrals, sitter arrangements, food, shopping/cooking, etc.

Let them know about community services and respect their choice to use them or not