infographic on how to help a grieving friend Do This not that -. On one side of the infographic it gives Don'ts and the other side says DO Instead TRY TO (Text will be written from left to right for clarity): DON'T compare griefs (no one else has experienced their grief. DO Instead TRY to ask questions - You can connect by showing curiousity about their experience. DON'T fact check or correct, especially in early grief, facts and timelines can be confused. Instead DO Instead TRY to respect their experience - it's not important who's "more" correct. DON'T minimize - even if you might think their grief is out of proportion to the situation - DO Instead TRY to remember this grief is theirs - grief belongs to the griever. Your opinions are irrelevant. DON'T give compliments, when someone is in pain, they don't need to be reminded how wonderful they are. DO Instead TRY to trust your friend - all the things you love about the person will help them through this experience. DON'T be a cheerleader - when things are dark, it's OK to be dark. DO Instead TRY to mirror their reality - when they say, "this sucks", say, "yes it does" DON'T talk about later - Right now, in this present moment, that future is irrelevant. DO Instead TRY to stay in the present moment - or if the person is talking about the past, join them there.